Monday, February 18, 2013


Last week I battled an onslaught of angst so strong that I found myself whispering aloud at times, “God please help…it’s too much.” I could feel a thick blanket of insecurity wrapping itself around me binding all my fears together and forming one major knot in my soul. I was e x h a u s t e d. I was d i s c o u r a g e e d.  I wanted to get off of this cycle that seems to meet me time and again, when the journey has been longer than I imagined.

I saw a vision of myself walking through a long deserted cave so narrow, that if I tried to turn around, my shoulders would have gotten lodged against the walls, leaving me stuck and unable to move. This cave had one entrance and one exit and the only way out was to keep moving. My face was ashen and expressionless and my movements were listless. I trudged; I didn't walk. I never stopped moving for fear that I would collapse. Up ahead I could see the reflection of sunlight peeking through the end of the cave but the end itself was not in sight, only the suns message to keep moving. I could hear the sound of waves beckoning me forward and the faint smell of salt water seeped in.

There was really no need for interpretation of that image, no need to ask what it all meant, I knew. However, I needed to help the woman in that cave. I needed to send her some energy, some hope, give her rest. I ached for her. So the next day, I went to NODA. 

NODA is the artsy North Davidson District in Charlotte and home of the 24/7 prayer room and it became a place of refuge like I've never encountered before.

When I turned the knob and walked through the narrow entryway to the prayer room, my expectations began to build. Somehow, I knew that God was waiting there for me. Waiting to ease my mind and give me rest…and He was. The atmosphere was primed with some of the best inspirational music that I've ever heard. There are couches arranged for your comfort while you sit and soak in the peace and private stations with curtains to be alone with God. There were ministry DVD’s with headphones to hear a private message or to bring knowledge of the Bible and strengthen your faith. You can read there or take your laptop and tuck away while you work while being filled at the same time. There was a prayer request board with many prayers pinned to it. There was a wall covered in the map of the world with different needs for missionaries or travelers stuck to it. And then, in the midst of all of this, there was me.

I looked around when I entered the lobby wondering which door to try first. When I opened the door to the main room, I was overcome with emotion and the cold and the chill of the day began to melt away. My spirit was home.

I have never been in an atmosphere of worship and felt united in spirit with people of God all over the world, until that very moment. Even being almost empty accept for the volunteer that was tending the room that day and one other person, I felt a unity in spirit with people that I've never met before. It represented a spiritual U.N.

My time there was well spent, talking to God about the current dilemma’s that I face as well as the pain of my past, hopes for my future and request for strength for my present. He nursed my wounds, and sang to my heart. He cupped His hand and caught my tears and allowed me to question His motives like a nervous child. He met me, He met me, He met me…right on the verge of collapse. And when He caught me, I knew that as long as I had a place of refuge to run to like this, I would make it out of this cave to see the light of day…

By the way, if you've been reading my blog and have never listened to a recording of my poetry, please feel free to click the TuneCore widget to the right of this post and give it a listen. If it’s something that you feel you’d like to download to hear as often as you like or share with others, just know that I cherish your support.

Bonita "BFP"

Check out the photos of the 24-7 prayer room by clicking the link below: 

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