I was raised in a religious cult. It’s ugly but true. Therefore, I do my best to avoid clicks, social circles or individuals that seem controlling. I also do my level best not to be the source of either of those mindsets. There is a lot of danger in religious cults and many of the people involved in them can be seriously depraved. If you are innocent, honest and seeking, then your vulnerabilities can appear to them like bait on a hook.
At this point in my life, I see relationships, social circles and acquaintances in black and white. They are either good for me or not. They are either in God’s will for me or totally against it. They either flow like an easy stream down river or they clog and push against me like a barricade of rocks.
In the latter case, finding my way to freedom is a must. The way that I maintain my freedom is to run to Abba and ask: Should I be a part of this? What is the purpose of me being involved? And finally: Did you orchestrate this fellowship? Whatever the case, He answers and when He does, I try my best to listen.
Relationships on any level are difficult and they frighten me tremendously at times, there are too many people with too many agendas. Some wear masks, others play hiding games. Me, I just want to go into the woods and sit alone with Abba. The problem is, He keeps leading me out of the woods and right back into the stream. I have to trust that when He does that, it’s because He wants me to be a part of something greater, something enriching and beautiful and that as long as I keep my ear to his lips…He’ll tell me where the pitfalls are or show me how to swim pass the rocks.