My gift, my words, my thank you...

I ask God almost yearly

“When can I be a blessing to the people in my life who have given time, kind words or tended to my needs so sweetly? When can I give back all that has been given to me and more? What can I do for the people that you have blessed me with?”

His reply:

“Use your words”

“My words Lord, seem so inadequate for all of the gifts that I have received from others throughout the years. My words seem not to be enough for all of those who have touched me so deeply with their kindness.”

His reply:

“Your words are the gift that I have given you to the world. To heal, to bless, to set free, to love...

How is my gift to you insufficient? When used properly your words fulfill your assignment on the earth and gather gems in heaven that will be placed in a crown for you to wear. I count them and I count on them to represent me in this earth... Daughter...use your words...”

My words to you who have been faithful friends:

“May you always know the richness of His mercy as the sunrise of your day. May you always feel the warmth of His presence as His hand upon your shoulder. May you always sense the timeless nature that exist between you and God as the gateway to His Heaven... May you know for sure without a shadow of a doubt that you will crossover one day from this earthly life and join Him in eternity...

With words from my heart...My love to you all...

Bonita Jones Knott (c) 

"Hidden"

I'm on the verge of a breakthrough so powerful that I can hear the enemy of my soul gasping in disgust

because of the one that got away

Tucked safely under the wing of the Almighty

while sobbing with a wrenched heart

I can hear the voice of the Father take Authority over the evil one

Reeling from the pain of despair over being orphaned and rejected countless times

My heart lies like an open wound bleeding profusely with no end in sight

Breathless I pray for the strength to pray for those who count me worthless

and toss me aside with words of venom

“Father please don't allow the venom to poison me with hate.

I choose to forgive although I can never forget.”

Eagerly I await His reply

But in His Sovereignty I receive much more

I receive his hand

I see Him lift my mangled heart and place it in His chest

and retrieve for me a new one

Whole and healed beautiful in form and hue

It's beat is strong and it is covered with the aroma of myrrh

He holds it out to me

as I walk toward this gift

And in an instant I am transformed within His marvelous light

Under the power of His mighty touch

All past pain

All past sorrow

Gone from my today

Never to reach my tomorrow

Yes I am on the verge of an incredible dawn

Where I will dance in the sunlight

Free from all of yesterdays wrongs...

“Hidden” Bonita Jones Knott © 9/20/11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xwzItqYmII

"Ever Present"

In my America

Babies are supposed to laugh and play with careless ease in their mothers arms

Time is measured by work or lunch or soccer games and dance recitals

News no matter how big or breaking never stops my America

Until that day

That day babies hushed on mothers hips

And time gave up it's right of way

to smoke and glass and endless tears

As lives were stolen from our countries hands

And all of us

suburban, city, rural, coastal folk

gazed speechless into an unfolding mass of horror

Too terrified to say aloud what we saw to our children

How do you say to a wide eyed child

“America stopped today...”

And where do you get the strength to admit to your own self

how very vulnerable you feel when tucking little ones in

and turning off the lights

As you wonder to yourself

What else can happen while we sleep tonight?

But God who is All present even in the midst of mans demise

Made Himself known to me in silence

As I reluctantly closed my eyes...

“Ever Present” by Bonita Jones Knott © 9/11/2011

Shedding it All...

You named me “Butterfly” and I was born on a Summers morning after a Winters heartbreak and a fallen Autumn

The weight of life's cocoon

encased me and I was mummified

into thinking that I could never fly

Because I was too unique to fit the mold

The truth is, I had never met a me

like me before

So I conformed

And thus the layering began

The image

The status

The need for facade

The need to belong

To the hologram we call life

I sang from a place that was distant

And danced without music

And used meaningless words – so as not to offend

It seemed to work

For the passionless world

that I existed in

Held in mid breath

like a fetus yet to develop

I stayed

Living off of an unhealthy heartbeat

I cried silent cries and pleaded for help

In my muted night

Until I was too weak and too tired to ignore your response

You were telling me to twist

out of the bindings

until the layers that held me

would break

And anything and anyone that supported those layers were gone

I knew instinctively that it had to be

I knew...always knew

That you did not call me out into life

To live without passion or purpose

To dance in a gray meadow

Or drink from a stagnant stream

It was time

My time

To shed it all

For the beautiful moment

That you had been waiting for since my inception

It was time to claim my name

Expand my wings

And become Your Butterfly...

“Shedding it All” Bonita Jones Knott © 9/5/2011