Thursday, November 14, 2013

I Found Me...

Feet dangling
Playing in the streams of life
Giggling like a school girl at a never ending slumber party
Dancing to music piped in from Freedom’s Broadcasting Network
And feeling lovely about me

After a lifetime of being trained
How to be the perfect women
How to pretend
How to submit
How to look the other way
How to hold it together
While feeling like the crazy part of the glue
 Watching all of my dreams go floating out the door
I was crumpled up and tossed behind
Life’s wastebasket
A half written to do list
An unfinished poem
A check mark next to a mundane chore
A note asking for more

There I was
You picked me up and smoothed
My crinkled life
And began deciphering the cryptic messages of my heart

You Abba explained my own pain to me
In ways I could have never understood
You taught me how my mind worked
And insisted that despite the many
Blows that I suffered to my emotional cortex
I still functioned well
You said I was whole
Long before I understood what wholeness was
And when the pipe burst in my heart
And I could no longer contain my emotions
You held me
And all of my liquid pain

At night you sang a lullaby to my spirit
That spoke directly to each day of my life
From birth till now

You remembered what I had forgotten
Or refused to acknowledge
You showed me that pain ignored
Will devour your soul
And become the monster inside of you
That you see in others

You Daddy G
Gave me my first nickname of honor
You called me “Princess”
And laced me with your love

You took me back home
To the foreign land from which I hail
A place called “Innocence”

You said that I was still
A native and would forever be so in Your eyes

We sat on the side of a mountain
And skipped wishes across the lake
As the sun set in sapphire hues
You gave me a stern directive
With more love than I could gather in a lifetime
“Live and Be Free!”
And showed me my reflection in the mirror
Of your Glory
For the first time in my life
I saw radiance
And it was coming from under my skin

Beauty rested in my eyes
And honor (which comes from being your very own)
Adorned my quaff
Like a diamond studded crown

You lifted me
High into the heavens
And baptized me
In eternity
Then placed me gently back in my today
With a new heart
And a restored mind
Nothing missing
Nothing broken
Forever gifts

BFP (c)