Friday, September 28, 2012

Pretty is as Pretty Does...

Yesterday, I came across this picture of me in my early 20’s. Immediately, I focused on how young, slim and pretty I looked back then. I began to travel to “past tense land” saying things to myself like:  “Bonita you really had it together, look how slim you were.” I felt a bit of remorse for my older self for not maintaining the complete image in the picture.  

Just as I was about to light into myself for not being 23 and a size 6 anymore, I felt a HALT in my spirit. My older, more enlightened self was taking offense to my thoughts and did not like being “dissed”.

Older, more mature me began to speak with much authority and insisted that I changed my inward dialogue. “Tell her how much wisdom you have gained instead of weight” she commanded. That first statement jarred me a bit but it didn't stop there.

“Tell her what you know now. What you have learned since the time of this picture. Tell her how you cherish the road that it took for you to get where you are at this point in your life. How you have learned so much from your mistakes as well as your triumphs. Tell her how you are raising 3 amazing children and are in full swing of living out your dreams as a writer. Let her know about your intimate walk with your Creator and how priceless it is to you.  Thank her for being hungry enough to search for Him and brave enough to accept Him when He revealed Himself.

In that brief moment, I learned that my tendency to glamorize the old me and compliment her size and emerging beauty, does not do any justice to the woman that I am today. In fact, it is a truly shallow approach to looking back and it discredits my journey.

My new perspective, gained through that moment, is that I am more than lips, hips and fingertips. I am an amalgamation of the little girl in patent leathers, the young woman in search of love, the woman that I am now, who is loving God and life at the same time and the future me, who will look back one day in awe of her life’s journey and be grateful…no matter what my measurements have been.

Get the picture? ;-)

8 comments:

  1. You are a beautiful and wise woman, Bonita. That I know. xo

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  2. Yes, got it and love it! Thanks for sharing :)
    Felicia

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  3. This is the post that reminded me so much of Ellyn Spragins' books! She definitely agrees with you (three books worth of agreeing with you, in fact).

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    1. Cool...I love the idea of coming to truth with oneself. It is the most terrifyingly freeing thing that we can do.

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  4. Well spoken. Beautifully written.

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