Tuesday, April 16, 2013

When Throwing a Fit Just Won't Do...

This week, I was met with some measure of disappointment. Something did not go the way that I had expected. It cost me, literally, and I had to decide how I was going to process this life lesson but not without a word from my emotional sponsors first.

While praying and crying it out simultaneously, I discovered the truth being spoken aloud from a place inside of me that was not shy about being exposed. The truth said: “I’m hurt behind this…that’s what I really feel, taken advantage of.” Once I heard truth with my own ears, I was able to accept that these words were in fact correct. You see, I had an expectation which was not met, actually, it seemed as though it was ignored and since this expectation involved another person, my disappointment doubled. When I addressed the other party and no real closure came from the situation, I then became hurt, but anger, my old friend, stood in front of hurt and decided to handle my dilemma for me.

After a few hours of anger saying the same old things and responding the same old ways, compassion and forgiveness began to nudge their way from the back of the room to have a word with me. They were quite convincing but anger managed to stand off to the side leering at me as if to say: “Come on you can’t let them off that easy!” Just as I leaned in a bit to read angers lips, truth put his firm hand on my shoulder and said these words: “ you've made mistakes too, for which you've been forgiven, what do  you say to extending the same forgiveness?” “But I've changed!” I reasoned and it’s the principle of the thing!” I knew that deep inside I couldn't hold on to that stance forever, so I decided to will to forgive, until I could truly forgive. Willing to forgive is like forgiving on credit until you have enough compassion and conviction to actually obtain forgiveness and use it. I will to forgive often; it’s my revolving credit account…

Later, when I went to take attendance to see who was still lodging in my emotional residence, I found that truth, compassion and forgiveness decided to stay and encourage each other. Every once in a while I could still hear the faint sound of anger’s distant footsteps out in the cold wandering around in the dark. I realized that he was not banished forever but in order for him to return, he had to promise to listen to the majority and confer with them before acting further on the situation. By morning, anger was willing to comply.

The whole of it is, people will disappoint us, take advantage of us and maybe even leave us feeling hurt. All emotions are honest but not all of them can govern our reaction if we want God to intervene and move on our behalf. After all of these years, I finally realize that God can turn any situation around for my good if I simply concede to handle it His way… 


  1. Absolutely love the imagery it's funny how you can hear all of those voices in your head and have to decide which ones can stay and which ones are of no use to you. I hope that the next time I am in a situation I can quickly point out the latter and let the healing begin

  2. Thank you Jacque. We might as well admit that we have more than one person in our heads anyway! lol It's time to decide who runs the show.

  3. I think your voices have been talking to my voices! Recently I did something, out of kindness, but I had to talk to myself because some times one of my many personalities comes out and misconstrues things and puts me in places where I don't need to be. No matter how many times I put her in Time Out, chastise her or just get downright indignant she always manages to get that little dig in. Inevitably I manage to duct tape her mouth so I can get to where I need to be or at least stay in the direction that I am going. :-) As Jacque said, we have to let the healing begin.