What bears repeating time and time again, is the simple truth that in order for new life to come forth, our old life must die. In order for healing to take place, the old body must be laid to rest, sometimes figuratively as well as literally. It’s necessary that we understand these truths in order to survive the trying times, the lonely times, the painful times and the times when we feel as if we are suffering so much that we are leaving this earth way too soon. I say this in honor of all those who have, those of us left on this earth to live, must do so with purpose, determination and gratefulness. We must honor each breath as if it is our last. We must let go of the things that are destined to hurt us, for the things that are destined to heal us…
God, I seek you in ways that I never thought my spirit could cry out. My desperation for all things love has brought me full circle back into your embrace. I’m broken inside, surrounded by a shattered frame, the ghost of my own strength. I refuse to pretend anymore because I know that you meet me in truth. I cannot run from the calling within, that has kept me seeking all these years, because I have run out of road, still I have many miles to go with you. I cannot speak without you, walk without you or live without you.
This surrender in this season, has taken me to a far off place that I’ve never been before. I cannot navigate this climate on my own. My hand searches for yours in the dark. I still myself and wait for dawn. I seek my reflection in a stream filled with tears, only to find staring back at me the image of a tree. Branches reaching for the sun and earth, leaves singing in the breeze, a lullaby for the spirit, roots one with holy soil, pumping new life through its veins.
You allowed the life I knew to drive me to my knees, if only to seek you on my face. I cried out for death to take my soul and you released me from my pain and raised me up within the limbs of a tree. “Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth, shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18
No longer a shattered frame of desperation, I am now a tree standing against the forces that dare take me over to steal my voice and render me helpless. One breath from you Lord, and I rise up in new form, to bask in your sun and give shade to all those who embrace the You in me…
“I’ll rise up”
Bonita Y. Jones © July 30, 2016
Feel free to listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BWsrd_aXQA