I was raised
in a religious cult. It’s ugly but true. Therefore, I do my best to avoid clicks,
social circles or individuals that seem controlling. I also do my level best
not to be the source of either of those mindsets. There is a lot of danger in
religious cults and many of the people involved in them can be seriously
depraved. If you are innocent, honest and seeking, then your vulnerabilities
can appear to them like bait on a hook.
At this
point in my life, I see relationships, social circles and acquaintances in
black and white. They are either good for me or not. They are either in God’s
will for me or totally against it. They either flow like an easy stream down river
or they clog and push against me like a barricade of rocks.
In the
latter case, finding my way to freedom is a must. The way that I maintain my freedom is to run
to Abba and ask: Should I be a part of
this? What is the purpose of me being involved? And finally: Did you
orchestrate this fellowship? Whatever the case, He answers and when He
does, I try my best to listen.
Relationships
on any level are difficult and they frighten me tremendously at times, there
are too many people with too many agendas. Some wear masks, others play hiding
games. Me, I just want to go into the woods and sit alone with Abba. The
problem is, He keeps leading me out of the woods and right back into the
stream. I have to trust that when He does that, it’s because He wants me to be
a part of something greater, something enriching and beautiful and that as long
as I keep my ear to his lips…He’ll tell me where the pitfalls are or show me
how to swim pass the rocks.
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