Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I Think He Was Wearing Nikes

I've been having the same conversation with multiple women for years now and it sounds like this: “I don’t know what happened, one minute we were inseparable (phone calls, dinner, lunch, movies etc…) and the next, he wouldn't even answer my calls?”

 Let’s face it, if you are of the female persuasion and have dated at least ONE man before marrying, chances are this has happened to you.

We have collectively consoled one another for years with hopeful theories such as: “maybe he just needed some time to think and sort things out before getting serious with you. Or, maybe he’s just overwhelmed with how much he cares about you…” We've privately mused about all types of scenarios that seem to ease the pain in the moment and end with us being swept away in a fairy tale return from Mr. Wonderful.

The truth about this reoccurring  disappearing man phenomena ladies, is only he knows why he chose to exit stage left after being completely present in the “moment” with you for a period of time. Whether you've made it too easy on him by always saying “yes” or whether you simply ignored the subtle hints of an impending departure, the fact is the answer lies completely with Mr. Wonderful.

I propose a new day and a new way of dealing with these vanishing Romeos that's bound to stir up controversy…MOVE ON. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done. I get it, He completes you. You connected on a level that has never happened before. I’m not making light, I've said all of these things myself but it still didn't change one simple factor, he left, without a trace and left you standing in the dust wondering why. Forgive him and move on. I don’t even want to add the clichéd ending, if he’s yours he’ll be back because you've taken up enough of your life’s time waiting for that to happen. Stand yourself up; go to your mirror and say: “It was wonderful, I've never laughed like that before, he was amazing but now, he’s gone.” Let the tears fall, wash your face and stop checking, your emails, voice mails  text, Twitter and Facebook page, just move on.

The amazing, light that flows from you that caught his attention is bound to catch someone else’s, if you let it. You can’t move forward with your head permanently fixed over your shoulder, so turn around to see ahead.

 No one can deny the pain of feeling jilted but there, on the other side of yesterday, is a greater joy awaiting you. Get out of the house, stop playing those depressing lonely songs, and begin to seek out fun and adventure in ways you've never done before. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman loving life and having fun. If you meet someone, take it slow, let him chase you, you have time. If he’s interested he’ll pursue you and believe me, you will know when it’s happening. Enjoy it. If things get serious, talk, ask about his intentions and try to get a better handle on whether he’s a potential runner or not. You’ll know the signs. If this guy wants to hang up his running shoes…he’ll show you.

At some point, you’ll look back at this time and remember how much it all felt so dismal to you.Always remember the strength that you gained when you made that one decision to move on. 

Hey lady, you’re worth the effort to change…

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