Being a Christian in a Racially Divided World...

Being a Christian in a racially divided world comes with great responsibility.

You see, we don’t get to pick a side and stand on the street with a bull horn yelling “THIS IS WHY WE HATE ALL OF YOU!!!” We don’t get to wage in hatred driven commentary that further divides a nation while reliving past pain that has been grandfathered into our present society. It’s not even productive to try to defend evil out of a guilty conscience or lack of understanding. Being a Christian in a racially divided world simply means choosing the greatest way of all…the way of love.

I realize how frustrating that is to hear for some of you. The truth is, when we speak of race and the history of this nation, love does not seem to be the foundation. When people want to boast on the greatness of America (specifically Christians) I sincerely hope that it comes with repentance. True greatness is not gained by the disenfranchisement of others (ask the Native Americans how great this country is.) It does not take from the innocent for personal gain. True greatness is not rooted in pride or greed and it certainly doesn't need to enslave an entire culture in order to build a legacy. I don’t believe that our Jewish brothers and sisters woke up each morning in Egypt thousands of years ago and exclaimed: “This is the greatest country on earth!” while slaving to their deaths at the hand of evil rulers.  If you can see that, then you can certainly understand why Black Americans have a hard time claiming America’s greatness while still hearing the screams of ancestral pain.

Being a Christian does not mean participating in blind patriotism while turning our heads the other way when America is at its absolute worst state in decades. It does not mean ignoring the obvious and continuing with church business as usual, increasing attendance, launching new building projects, numbers, numbers, numbers…while the rest of the country is full of despair.

It cannot continue to mean that we chose neutrality or silence in the face of racial adversity. And it certainly does not mean insisting on an inferior or superior race mentality. It does not apply the entitlement theory to every disparaging situation and it cannot assume that only two races exist in this country when countless others work, live and sacrifice everyday on this same soil.

Being a Christian in this climate does not mean that we hide behind a barrage of scriptures in order to support our opinions and theories while lacking the God-given instinct to pray in the midst of this madness.  It is not impressed with who came up with the better argument and who has more rights than others. It doesn't applaud the punishment of a culture by not allowing the same rights as the majority, simply because “we were here first.” By the way,saying "we were here first" in this country, will ALWAYS be a lie unless you are Native American. Not a favorable truth but the truth nonetheless.

Being a Christian in a racially divided world means seeking truth at all times. Asking God to search our hearts and cleanse us from prejudice, hatred, unforgiveness and yes even a murderous spirit. If in fact the sins of the fathers are handed down to the fourth generation…then we MUST pray and repent.

I remember hearing from an older blood relative to never trust white people. At the moment I was put off by the statement because I was determined to carve out my own social paths in life by not carrying any unwanted baggage with me. I decided to ignore the statement and take my chances.

Years later with many opportunities to buy into that bit of advice along the way, I have found that a person is either trustworthy or not simply based on the spirit that resides within them and not the color of their skin. That’s not the only race lesson that I've learned throughout my life.

I have come to study the Abolitionist movement with as much interest as I study the sadness of slavery in America. I have fallen in love with many cultures, languages and yes the beautiful food that represents them and I am raising my children with a multicultural perspective even when diversity is still scarce in our environment.

By the way, diversity is not a pet project for the socially elite…it’s simply a mirror reflection of what heaven looks like. You don’t launch diversity campaigns, you begin your foundation with the desire to serve and be a part of all cultures. In short, diversity simply does not work as a back end project. If it was never in the heart of the vision (whatever that vision may be) it will never be a tightly woven tapestry of beauty in your ministry. Repentance is the key to change when it comes to diversity. After we repent, then we write out a new vision and begin again.

I am by no means saying that I don't experience the frustration and anger that comes with witnessing the behavior that comes with the racial divide. And I am tempted to enter into the conversations about our current climate from time to time but I try to let a cooler head prevail. Prayer helps.

Of all the experiences that I've had, people that I've met and conversations that I have been a part of, the discussion I love the most is based on a mutual admiration for the love of our Savior. When we all meet at the cross bringing our ethnicity, languages, experiences (good and bad) with us, we form a bridge of unity while receiving healing at the same time. When we leave behind our denominations, political viewpoints and socioeconomic statuses, the bridge becomes stronger and unity becomes the structural support.

When we cease to involve ourselves in the discussions of hatred, mindless finger pointing or the refusal to take the moment to stand in someone else’s shoes, we become more palpable to the world that we are trying to influence. 

So you see, being a Christian in a racially divided world means being a bridge; a solid structure that one can cross with confidence and peace to get to a God who created us ALL...

Thank God for Grace and a Good Mirror!

One of the most incredible stories of my life has been the time when I first experienced God for myself. It was as pure and as unadulterated as a God experience could be. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I had just been introduced to the Great I AM.

I was alone, in my apartment, crying on my knees, completely lost in pain and depression. I spoke aloud to a God who I hoped was there and right in the midst of my wrenching sobs…a calm came over me that was out of this world, literally.

I was not a Christian, did not attend church, did not believe in attending church and could care less about the “process of religion”. But I was desperate for the pain in my life to cease, and He showed up.

Over the years I joined a church, publicly ‘gave my life to Christ’, got baptized, busied myself in church activities and so on.

While I believe that those things were part of a greater purpose for my life, I wasn't always on the ‘right track’ in the midst of my new found and extremely active church life.  There were plenty of days when I felt like a failure, that I couldn't keep up spiritually, that I would never overcome certain obstacles and sins in my life, that I wasn't good enough, or pure enough, or just plain enough to represent God.

There was always a comparison going on in my mind with the ‘elite’ of the church who got to run Bible studies and women’s groups or prayer groups. I had been interviewed but never ‘chosen’ to take the lead in such things because (I imagine) I just couldn't seem to be the image that goes along with such privileges. It seemed that this God that had met me on my living room floor in my tiny apartment so many years ago had far too many demands that I could not keep up with, and He had no time for an average sinner like me anymore. It seemed that I embarrassed Him or His image far too easily and I couldn't wear my Christian badge without getting smudges on it. It was as if I was ‘saved’ only to feel ashamed of my own existence once again.

Now, those of you who truly have an organic walk with God know that those feelings did not come from Him but they came from my internal dialogue, the enemy of my soul and yes, the religion that I immersed myself in.

It has taken a GIANT step back from all that has become familiar to me by way of Christianity to regain my footing and once again walk with the God who visited my apartment many years ago. It has taken much failure, to understand His mercy, which is a humbling and needed experience in order to be a compassionate person once again.

You understand that with religion sometimes comes a sanctimonious mindset that sets oneself above others, particularly “unbelievers and people of the world” (which are labels, tags and misconceptions about people we don’t really know.) I would have easily fit those categories many years ago. Fortunately, there was one person in my life at the time who never made me feel like an “unbeliever” but simply a friend and she didn't always bombard me with invitations to her church when we talked. Sometimes we simply talked about life.

When I listen to Christian dialogue now, I sometimes cringe at the way we shout to the roof tops our beliefs on social media and in any other forum that we may be heard from, without so much as listening to the hearts of other people around us. It’s as if we are so spiritually fragile that we think that listening to someone else’s heart or opinion may damage us for life. It may just do so, if your foundation is purely made from an inherited belief as opposed to having a true encounter.

I find it hard to believe that in the midst of Jesus eating with “sinners” that he never once listened to their hearts, looked at the pain in their eyes and was moved with compassion to show love and mercy.

I sometimes see scriptures plastered on social media in what sounds like an angry voice or with condemning intent, in order to convict others but done so with an enormous lack of compassion and love for the hurting people all around us. Such behavior is often doing more harm than good and creates a greater resentment for those of us who use the term Christian to describe ourselves.

We forget to share our own stories and struggles because either we feel that we have come just that far from imperfection, or we were simply born into Christianity and have inherited this way of life from our family, so we can’t relate to anyone but other believers.

We use our own personal convictions, such as what we eat, when we fast, our choice of entertainment, what we do on Sunday mornings etc… as a banner to show others the life they should be living. We find it easier to control with our message than to love from our hearts, people who are making different choices than us. And we call our way right as long as there is scripture to support it.

I can honestly say that I would have probably never walked into a church building or become a friend of Christianity had God sent a ‘Super Saint’ my way who did not have any faults and failures of her own. The mere fact that her life was so humble and open, yet she was able to speak the name of Jesus as if she truly knew Him, floored me. I grew up believing that if you weren't the best example of living pure and holy, then you were no example at all. Thank God for truth.

I have a loooong way to go with my approach to living out my faith. I don’t always say the right things when challenged, not by the world but by other Christians. I seem to understand the outside viewpoint more than I do the “inside” mindset, mainly because of never feeling quite “good enough” within those four walls.

So, my conflict is in reverse. I don’t see the need of always bragging about my moral stand when I know good and well that I only have a moral stand because of the grace of God. I don’t in anyway feel superior about my life choices because they are different from the current cultures, simply because in one instant my life can change and I could be standing face to face with a decision that I never had to make before. It’s by the grace of God that I will know what to do.

Having been on both sides of the glass, this I know for sure: a stone can be thrown on either side but all it will do is shatter the walls, and injure the innocent, while causing more harm than good.

May we all come to understand the loving power of true humility…  

Does The Holy Spirit Come to Church Anymore?...

I've been on a silent search for a few months now, to find the Holy Spirit outside of my home and inside of a church. You would think that this would not be a hard task but believe me… it’s been somewhat of a challenge.

Not that I haven’t experienced Him in a church service lately, I have but it’s been short lived. He usually shows up in a song or a person’s prayer or by chance in another member who speaks to me from the heart.  I’m starting to believe that He is partially welcomed because there is so much on the agenda and we can’t have Him messing the order of service up and prolonging things that need to be kept short and tidy.

Some people think that the Holy Spirit is a havoc wreaker causing people to jump and shout uncontrollably for hours and that He is egged on by the person on the keyboard, piano or organ…I've seen that recently as well.  I don’t personally think that the Holy Spirit is unruly and needs music cues as much as He does a simple welcome.

I think that I need to make peace with the fact that church is partially spiritual but mostly informational by way of a motivation or spiritual dissertation. If I can settle that in my heart then I won’t be so disappointed when I go to church anymore.

With that being said, I had the unique experience of visiting a good friend’s church a few weeks ago that may be among the remnant that welcomes the Holy Spirit to come, stay and abide. It will not be because of what they plan for the service, as much as whom they welcome into the building. Being welcomed anytime you come is major.  Being treated the same by the members whether you come once a month, twice a year or every single Sunday is huge. Why? Because there is a feeling that one gets when he or she leaves a church to branch out on their own and actually seek God in other ways, when they see their former church “family” on the outside.

The feeling is like being the black sheep of the family or running away from home or in my case needing a divorce and knowing that my choice would be sorely disapproved by the powers that be and the truly religious.

I grew up in a cult (I mentioned that in a former blog) and I know what It’s like to leave a cult and have to start a new life…you are virtually disowned and it’s a tough road ahead. What churches don’t understand is that they are not so different from cults at times in the way that everyone is on the inside and once you leave, you are an outsider. People don’t know what to say to you, if they say anything at all. It feels the same, it really does.

When I visited my friend Ken’s church, I came in and got the feel of the building. I sat in the third pew from the front on the left side and waited, for what, I’m not sure. As I waited, I browsed through the church bulletin for the usual announcements and committee meetings but when I got to the Welcome I was overcome with emotions.  I can’t quite describe how I felt but one thing is for sure, I know that I felt welcomed. It was as if someone sat and prayed for hours thinking about the lives of everyone around them, including their own and wrote these words. I was told that the church came across this welcome on the internet and decided that it fit Mulberry perfectly.

If you are a stark traditionalist than the following words will mess with your theology in a way that will force you to disapprove but since I don’t prefer to cling to theology but only to Christ, I truly understand why this welcome was put in their bulletin.  Here it is:

WELCOME TO MULBERRY

We extend a special welcome to those who are single, married, divorced, gay, filthy rich, dirt poor, yo no hablo ingles. We extend a special welcome to those who are crying newborns, skinny as a rail or could afford to lose a few pounds. We welcome you if you can sing like Andrea Bocelli or can’t carry a note in a bucket. You’re welcome here if you’re “just browsin,” just woke up or just got out of jail. We don’t care if you’re more Catholic than the Pope, or haven’t been in church since little Joey’s Baptism. We extend a special welcome to those who are over 60 but not grown up yet, and to teenagers who are growing up too fast.

We welcome soccer moms, NASCAR dads, starving artists, tree huggers, latte sippers, vegetarians, junk food eaters. We welcome those who are in recovery or still addicted. We welcome you if you’re having problems or you’re down in the dumps or if you don’t like “organized religion” because many of us have been there too. If you blew all your offering money last night at the club, you’re welcome here. We offer a special welcome to those who think the earth is flat, work too hard, don’t work, can’t spell or because grandma is in town and wanted to go to church. We welcome those who are inked, pierced or both. We offer a special welcome to those who could use a prayer right now, had religion shoved down your throat as a kid or got lost in traffic and wound up here by mistake. We welcome tourists, seekers and doubters, bleeding hearts…and you! 

EVERYONE ACCEPTED, UNCONDITIONALLY!

After reading this welcome, I relaxed because I realized that if any or all of those people were sitting around me waiting to worship on a Sunday morning, then Jesus had to show up because those were the people that He preached to when He traveled on the roadside, the seashore and in the streets.  That’s when I said quietly “welcome Holy Spirit” and He showed up.

I would like to thank Ken Fuquay for allowing me to use this welcome in my blog. Your friendship is becoming more and more priceless to me every day and I thoroughly enjoyed your message, singing and directing of the choir. I’ll see you again some Sunday morning my friend…

You know you're living the good life when...

How do you know whether you’re living a good life? Do you compare it to your neighbors, family or friends? Is it in direct proportion to your bank account or children’s success?

Travel and plenty of it! That has to be a sign of the good life. At least that would be my definition. Oh, and good food, exotic food that you only get when you travel. Yes! That’s definitely what I call living well…

Oh but wait, what if I experience something more grand than travel and good food? Would my perspective change then? Would the grander thing become my new utopia? I could see that happening. 

I could change my viewpoint, only to check social media and find out that one of my 242 friends has achieved her lifelong goal of becoming a professional performer. Darn!! Just when I thought I was living my best life possible!!! Now I have to go back to the drawing board…or do I?

Why is it hard for us to understand that we are all called to different paths in life? Why must we constantly compare our lives to others in such a way that causes us to either become envious or inflate our own existence by exaggerated degrees? 

With current technology and our ability to share our day to day lives at the click of a button, it is incredibly easy to become discontent with one’s own mere existence. How did we get here? 

I mean, I love posting pics of me and my kids at the beach or having some fun event in our lives…but they could personally care less if I hit the “share” button right after snapping the picture. In fact, sometimes they complain and roll their eyes.

I’m trying to practice being in the moment a bit more than I am now. I listen when my kids say “this pic is not for facebook Mom!” So I just keep it to myself and look at it from time to time, simply to enjoy the sweet memory for what it is.  Ah, the good life, a beautiful moment with my family.

Of course, they still indulge me for the big events and for that I’m grateful. I have family and friends that I can stay connected with and watch the growth of their children in a very convenient way…it’s not all bad, in balance right?

The only problem is when we stop applauding each other’s accomplishments and big events and start trying to match them. That’s when it gets a bit weird. “Wait till they see this pic of me at the top of Everest! Everyone will just flip!!” 

Admit it, you've been there, not Everest but on the same pic posting head trip, I’ll admit that I have. I think we all long to feel applauded and special and seen. I posted a picture of my new haircut three days ago and got over 20 likes. After a while, I didn't know whether to feel special or embarrassed, especially since I changed it this morning back to its naturally curly state. Should I re-post a new pic? Would that be vain?

On second thought, I think I’ll just enjoy it and keep it to myself.

Being able to know when to hold’em or when to share’em while being determined to enjoy all of those beautiful, fun, fantastical moments just the same…now that’s the good life!

The Awesome Legacy of Enoch...

For the last few years I have become slightly obsessed with my own personal legacy with questions such as:  What will I leave behind when I leave this world? What will my name mean? What will my children say was the single greatest thing that I passed on to them? What will my future generation thank me for…or not? And on and on…

Because of the fragility of life and its sometimes abrupt ending, it has become important to me that I choose to live on purpose. While I do welcome spontaneity and adventure (still a choice, mind you) I do not care for haphazard living at all at this age. Simply letting the chips fall where they may, in relationships, business or raising my children is not an option. There is too much at stake for me and those I leave behind not to give careful consideration as to how I live my life while I can.

I can’t claim that this has always been at the forefront of my thinking. I will admit to being rather careless as a younger woman, lacking the ability to see ahead and access what my decisions may cost me at some point. (I don’t believe that I’m alone in that retrospective tour.) But today, ah sweet redemptive today, I am fully alive with the “what if’s” of my next steps in this chapter of my journey and it excites me!

I believe that once God gets a glimpse of the fact that we want to change our world in some small or grand way, He steps in and provides us with the drive and desire to accomplish such a worthwhile feat. People appear in our lives to help us or add to the vision. Dreams expand and become more vivid. Details, details, details fall into place when we least expect it and before we know it, it’s happening. The thing that we have desired to become or be a part of begins to flow out of us.

It doesn’t matter what the vision is. At one point, all I wanted was the ability to raise my children with compassion, love and understanding. I wanted to leave behind some ineffective behaviors that were part of my own rearing. Later, I expanded my dream to releasing free thinkers and innovators into the world. I wanted my kids to see life through a non-traditional lens in order to make their own marks.

As of now, my vision is to demonstrate what it means to take chances, in order to speak in my own creative voice to the world and to make statements that can heal and unify humanity, instead of dividing it. 

Visions expand and so they should.

Whatever happens for and to me in this chapter will come as a result of a concerted effort on my part to be as considerate as possible to the people that will be affected by my choices and the unknown blessings of God which will raise me to a new level of experiencing life.

My greatest hope is that my future generation and the people that are in my span of influence will remember me with these three words if nothing else, she – walked with God…

Enoch walked with God and he was not, for God took him.  Genesis 5:24

Boys are gross and girls have cooties…

Can men and women ever really just be friends? If you would have asked me this question a  year ago, heck, a few months ago, I would have said “no” given the fact that the laws of physical attraction usually draw people together based on mutual chemistry. I would have said no because throughout my lifetime, I have never seemed to be able to achieve a certain emotional distance from the opposite sex that would allow me to keep a balanced perspective on the friendship. Finally, I would have said no because it has been surveyed and confirmed that most guys hang around girls that they are attracted to and are in pursuit of in one way or another. That last statement was based on a college survey I should mention.

What I realize now, is that  for me,the idea of a platonic relationship is based entirely on maturity. The older I get, the more in tuned with my own needs I become and with that has come the ability to categorize my wants. What I mean is: If I want to have coffee with a male friend simply to talk and catch up on life, I can do that because the want in this instance is face time with a friend. If I were to ask the same male friend out for dinner or a movie and I stayed in constant contact with him, then the want in this instance would be companionship. 

Because I am not in search of companionship but I do love good conversation and to reconnect with my busy friends, I am free to enjoy more platonic relationships at this stage in my life. I should note that the relationships are mutually platonic. I try to stay connected to people who are busy, productive and focused on their own goals. In other words, they are not looking for someone to complete them because they don’t feel incomplete.

I've also found that we women are sometimes in search mode and we don’t always address why that is, so that we can understand what we are really looking for. Sometimes we can apply the same answer to every need in our lives. For instance: I’m lonely. I need a boyfriend to take me places. I’m sad. I need a man to comfort me. I’m tired. I need a man to take some of this load off of me. I’m scared. I need a man to make me feel safe.

What happens if said “Man” doesn't show up for weeks, months or years from now? Do you trudge through life without ever experiencing relief until then? And when he shows up, does he know that he has a pre-written ‘honey-do’ list? That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone that you haven’t met yet. No wonder we can’t just have coffee and chat, we've been in interview mode from day 1! 

The only answer to that particular train of thought is if there is a man out there somewhere who is praying for a woman that he can rescue...could happen but let's not put all of our eggs in that basket, okay? 

The purpose of spending quality time with my male friends is not to interview them as potential prospects but to relax from that pursuit and just enjoy hearing a male perspective on life. I learn a lot from men, particularly if they are wise and mature. Sometimes the student can miss the lesson if all they are doing is making goo-goo eyes at the teacher.

Eventually, I imagine I will want more, but not before I can feel comfortable and complete in my own skin without needing someone to make me feel whole. In the meantime, I like my guy friends and I hope to learn a lot more from them…even though we all began with thinking that boys are gross and girls have cooties…

Simply Amazing FINAL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjsI_veswTs