I’ve always loved gray hair nicely placed at the temples,
particularly on men. The look is smart and crisp. It says, “I know things, life
things.” I don’t reject the look on women either. It’s just hard pressed to
find it as untouched, it’s usually colored or highlighted. Women don’t boast about their gray much, in my
experience. In fact, for some ladies, it’s almost gauche to talk about graying
or hot flashes or any symptom of aging. I think we women are taught to be
embarrassed about it. I think we’re supposed to do it discreetly, with plenty
of appointments to our hair dressers…she knows our bottled hair color by heart.
I also think that it’s highly unfair not to be able to let it all go, at least
for a moment and just be. There are so many products aimed towards keeping us
looking at least 20 years younger, that I can’t help but wonder if we’re
supposed to be ashamed of actually being 20 years older.
I need a touch-up on my temples. My gray is showing, but for
some reason I’m not panicking yet. I have panicked in the past however, while
looking at that older woman in my mirror and wondering when she arrived. But
this time, I decided to let her hang around a bit before insisting that she
hide her years, even if the evidence of age is somewhat subtle…somewhat. I
decided to ask her a few questions while staring in her eyes and inspecting her
skin for lines. I figured she could teach me a thing or two about life,
survival, resilience, and patience. I was surprised at how calm the exchange
feels now. No longer rushed and worried about what to do next. No longer in a
flurry of activity after years of hopeful insistence of now. I can do now, like
never before. The slightly more mature woman in my mirror has time for me like
no one else, and I can glean from her life lessons. I’m glad she’s finally
here.
I’d like to challenge you. The next time you see that older woman
peeking back at you in your mirror and she takes you by surprise, don’t shoo
her away so quickly. Don’t cover her with your best product and send her off to
your stylist so soon. Stop, right out of the shower and look at her, appreciate
her post-child bearing physicality. Compliment her, by not being ashamed of what
you see. Only air-brushed super models get to pose nude without a care in the
world. But we have the privacy of our bathroom mirrors and a moment of
reflection and homage to the women that we are today…body, mind and soul. No
matter how many years have passed, there is still defined and thoughtful beauty
in being a woman.
Embrace it…
