I know what it’s like to be a dreamer. I recently identified
that I have been a dreamer for as long as I can remember. As a child, it’s how I began to deal with
grief. It’s how I found visions for my life. I dreamed of being a famous
writer, of having a beautiful home, of living somewhere amazing but mostly…I
dreamed of love.
I will spare you all of my gushy schoolgirl details of what
I thought love to be but I will tell you that I equated love to being rescued.
Whoever my Knight was going to be, he most assuredly was going to be the one
who swooped in and saved my life. Over the years, he changed in subtle ways in my mind but he was always true to his ability to be my savior.
As I began to grow older, I tried without success to place
that savior’s badge on the people who came into my life. Again and again, the
badge always seemed to slide off in the course of the relationship, much to my disappointment. Like the story of Cinderella and the glass
slipper, I carried that badge in my pocket and took it with me wherever I went.
My heart was on a mission to find my human savior.
When we set out to distinctly fulfill our own dreams or to
bring fantasy to life, we come across some very dangerous wolves lurking in the
forests of our journey. We get blindsided by our internal needs so much so,
that we stop listening to our God given intuitive nature. At least that’s what
God showed me when I recently asked Him how good people become delusional. You see, I was asking God to reveal to me the
seed behind pervading spirits like Jezebel and the like. I wanted to know not
only how she became so powerful in the church but how she is able to hook so
many people along the way. Out of the
many possibilities that exist, the one He highlighted for me was neediness.
Here’s the insight:
This spirit began to grow in her/him as a child. Much like all of us, the need
for love and affection, affirmation and acceptance went unanswered. The child
began to crave a love that she never received. She was often ostracized and
left alone. So dreaming became her escape. She dreamed a new family, a new
identity, even a new look. She dreamed her way through life and kept going even
after life seemed not to deliver. After a while she began to ‘create’ the
world that she always wanted strategically. She pushed past the norm and found
a way to trail blaze a powerful path. She sought out to set up a kingdom filled
with people that could not disappoint her. This spirit is often at the head of small
businesses and ministries. She only allows those into her inner circle that she
can control. She offers the world in exchange for your allegiance. She wants
longs and needs to be surrounded by people of lesser savvy. She is bold and
brazen while feigning modesty. Her agenda is to always stay in control. She
morphs quite easily into a complacent person, who admits her fallibility and
appreciates the fact that God would choose to use her anyway. She lives in her
head most of the time and is often plagued by mental illness that must stay
hidden. She is very, very, very smart and gifted, which is the camouflage that
she uses to control the people in her sphere of influence. Weak leaders look up
to her and married couples don’t stand a chance around her. But most of all,
people who want a platform to step out on often fall into her pit more than
anyone because she offers her kingdom for such. (See Matthew 4:8-9)
You might ask: What does this have to do with dreaming?
Well, what I have learned is that reality checks can save us
from such a downward spiral. When we examine our lives and admit our pains,
seek help and forgiveness, we put ourselves in a closer standing with God. When
we accept that our Knight in Shining Armor is Christ himself THE HOPE OF GLORY,
we take away the need to pin a badge on any other person. When we willingly
admit to God that we feel alone, unwanted, depressed and cast aside, we set
ourselves up for healing. When we (especially women) reject the need for a
tough exterior but instead admit to our emotional needs, we allow God to fill
in all of the empty places in our lives.
Yes, reality is a life saver.
Everyone has a God given desire to be loved and accepted.
God is the giver of good dreams and when left up to Him, He will fulfill them.
The problem begins when we stop believing that He is listening or even cares.
The deeper problem is when we take our needs into our own hands, instead of
allowing God to examine them and return them in a purer state. The most eye
opening part about this spirit for me is that it carries with it an unfulfilled
lust that can never seem to be satisfied enough, so it “dreams” up ways to further entrap
people like a hungry hunter in the woods. It feasts off of others beauty and
drools compliments out of its mouth to evoke a response. This is Jezebel on
steroids!
After this startling revelation, which is still unfolding
before me, I asked God for a full examination of my inward spirit. I wanted Him
to x-ray my heart, mind, intentions, desires etc… I wanted to know what I could
do to never end up this way. His response: “reality
checks”. Look at your life exactly
for what it is and try not to create a delusional escape. Next, hand me all of
your dreams and leave them with me, the ones that are from me will come to
pass. The ones that are not, will burn up. This is how you escape the pervading
spirit of the witchcraft that is known as The Jezebel Spirit.
We believe dreaming to be an innocent thing and it is. In
fact it is God Himself who promises to give us dreams and to fulfill them. Dreaming is not evil. Evil comes when we become so self-absorbed, that we
believe we have the ability to be the fulfill-er of dreams, for ourselves and others.
My advice to all of us would be to place a mirror in the
living room of our spirit man and stand in it daily. If we can stand still in the
presence of God and allow Him to examine what is in that mirror and then follow His instructions as to how to proceed, we have a much
stronger chance of becoming whole and living our lives, the good and the bad,
without delusions…
Matthew 4:8-9 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
